The Sunday Salon used to be a meme but was getting so huge it became unmanageable, so it is now a Facebook group that has become an
informal week in review gathering place for bloggers.
It is also a place to share our thoughts about things of a bookish nature.
You can also link up weekly on Readerbuzz.
The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by
Kimberly @ Caffeinated Book Reviewer
~ It’s a chance to share news~
A post to recap the past week on your blog, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.
HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE!
Memories
Friday marked the 4 anniversary of my son’s death by suicide. My post on Facebook started like this:
4 Years – 48 Months – 1461 days – 35060.5 hours – 2,103630 minutes –
126, 217,800 seconds – Since we were told you were gone. Our hearts broke and our lives were forever changed.
I took the day off from the computer and took a little “me time”. Kris is always on my mind but I went through a couple of photo albums and cried a bunch but smiled a bunch too.
As the 1st anniversary approached we as a family decided to go out for dinner and spend time together. Frankly, I just didn’t want to be alone. We were all pretty numb. We went to the Ponderosa Steak House. Somewhere we had gone several times as a family over the years. Going out to eat on the day has now become a tradition. A time to be together, share our memories and pass around plenty of hugs. This year as we were discussing where to go, I brought up one of my first memories of Kris.
Kris was born on a Friday. His dad was in a bowling league every Wednesday night. Wednesday rolled around and I didn’t want to stay home alone with the baby yet. Mr. Dollycas phoned his mom and said, “Do you think it would be o.k. to take him to the bowling alley?” She quickly replied, “He’s yours, you can take him wherever you want. He was quickly bundled up in his little snowsuit and off we went to the bowling alley, where he quickly became the center of attention. For the rest of that season, he went to the bowling alley every Wednesday night. As he got older and was joined by 2 sisters and a brother we went bowling as a family quite often.
So the bowling alley/sports pub in our hometown, about 3 miles from the one we went to all those years before, was recently taken over by new owners and we had heard great things about the food so the reservation was made. We had a great dinner and ran into a couple of members of our extended family and friends we hadn’t seen in a while too. More memories and hugs! We also made a couple of new memories as the grandchildren, Daughter #2 and Son #2 bowled a game. For one of the grands, it was their first time bowling. About the same age as Kris was when he bowled his first game.
The night ended with another round of hugs and no tears, at least when we were all together.
I will never say the pain or the grieving gets easier because so far it hasn’t. It gets different. It doesn’t hit on only a few days of the year either. It is an everyday pain. Every time we get together, Kris is missed. Every day his daughter, now almost 7, lives her life I think about the things he is missing and the joy she is missing by not having her daddy here doing things with her. His death has had a profound effect on our entire family.
So here is where I get on my soapbox for a minute.
If you are dealing with depression, reach out, get help. Your life matters!
If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.
#StopSuicide
If you know someone that is dealing with depression or just acting off, step up, offer to listen, try to get them to accept help. Let them know their lives matter and that they are important to you. Don’t give up! Stay present! Just because they are seeing a therapist/doctor doesn’t mean they are o.k. Just because they seem better doesn’t mean they are. Kris seemed better. He was seeing a therapist. He reached out for help until that night when he didn’t. I am not an expert. I am just giving my 2 cents because I don’t want any family to join us on a journey like this. Know what to watch for. You can find more information here: https://afsp.org/about-suicide/
~Lori
Weekly Rewind – March 11 – 16, 2019
Monday – My Reading Itinerary Monday! – Week #11 2019
Tuesday – Early Review – Run Away by Harlan Coben @GrandCentralPub
Thursday – #Review / #Giveaway – Cat Got Your Crown: A Kitty Couture Mystery by Julie Chase @crookedlanebks
Hugs can heal! Pass them around!!
{Hugs}
Thank you!
Lori, no long comment here. Just thank you for your post and sincere prayers and thoughts sending your way.
Thank you, Bryan.
Big ol hug for you.
Thank you!!
Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story. I’m sure it is very difficult to talk about. When I was in college, I had lots of difficulty with this, and it was only when my uncle saw that I was deeply depressed and talked to me about it that I was able to take steps to deal with it. Later I volunteered for many years with a hotline. Sending you a hug.
Thanks Deb. Being disabled my blog and social media help me to share with others and try to promote awareness. I wish I was able to do more.
I’m so sorry for the loss your family has suffered. I think it’s wonderful you all get together at this time every year just to remember with love even though it’s hard.
I truly believe the more people who speak out on the topic of depression and suicide, the more lives that will be saved so thank you for sharing this.
Thank you and I totally agree 🙂
Lori, I have found my way to your blog via Deb’s (Readerbuzz) Sunday Salon. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story with your readers. Having lost a child (14 years this May), I agree that the pain and grief don’t go away. It’s just different with each passing year. Some anniversaries & birthdays are easier. Some are worse. It’s not linear or predictable. I can say that I was surprised that we could eventually laugh and find joy in our lives when we thought it was never again going to be possible. Sending you hugs.
Thank you and hugs headed your way.
I am so sorry about your son. I have lost numerous people (a couple students and friends from high school) in my life to suicide and it is never easy. I am so glad your family gets together on his day to remember Kris and be together.
I’m visiting from Deb’s Sunday Salon linkup. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post… I’m so sorry about your son and will keep you and your family in my prayers.
You have been coping with so much. Thank you for sharing your story and your pain. I am sure that your openness will save another person’s life. I am so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing. And for encouraging people to seek help.