CHANGE IN PLANS
The last time I checked in with you I was feeling good and looking forward to my last 3 chemo treatments. The following Thursday while walking to the bedroom I fainted. It happened again on Saturday. I thought maybe my blood sugar was low so I started drinking a lot of juices. But it happened again late Sunday afternoon and my family decided I was going to the ER. It turned out my potassium and magnesium levels were bottoming out and because I naturally have low blood pressure it dropped to levels that made me pass out. They admitted me to give me fluids with potassium and magnesium and kept me for observation until about 11 o’clock on Tuesday. I was scheduled for chemo at noon and didn’t want to miss it. However, when we got to the cancer center my appointment had been canceled because my insurance wouldn’t pay two different facilities on the same day. I was heartbroken and mad at the same time when my oncologist didn’t reschedule me for the next day but said to come in the next week at my usual time.
Fast forward to the following week. I met with my primary doctor on Monday and he said my numbers looked good and he cleared me for chemo. Tuesday I felt great and arrived for my appointment at the cancer center. The nurse told me my oncologist wanted to see me right after they drew blood for my lab work. Usually, he waits until he has the results. I knew immediately he was going to stop my chemo, but the nurse told me she didn’t think so. But that is exactly what he did. He said the risks outweighed the rewards. I begged him to let me finish. My potassium had been low before and I was now taking tablets so that wouldn’t happen. I knew the chemo was shrinking the tumor and that 3 more weeks may shrink it even more, but he wouldn’t change his mind. He took me over to the treatment area to wait to be sure my lab work was good and I had tears rolling down my face. I felt that my body had yet again let me down. My nurse and the social worker were amazing. They helped me accept there was a change in my plans and this was how it was meant to be even though my labs came back with numbers better than I had weeks before. The potassium was at normal levels, the magnesium was almost normal but I hadn’t been taking any meds for that yet. The tears started again when they gave me a Certificate of Achievement signed by all the nurses that took such excellent care of me. I felt I didn’t deserve it. I hate not finishing something I start.
I still wish I could have had those 3 treatments but instead, I am meeting with the surgeon about a month sooner than I had planned. My appointment is this Wednesday. I am not sure what to expect because I haven’t yet had a scan to see how much the tumor has shrunk. The last scan, at the end of May, showed it a shrunk 33%. Because the tumor is so close to the skin I can feel it and it seems much smaller than that to me. I am anxious to hear her plan for surgery while hoping and praying that my body will be cleared for whatever that plan is.
The following week I meet with a radiation specialist to learn what is ahead for me after the surgery.
You may have noticed I have posted a few reviews but I am still way behind. I apologize to authors waiting for my reviews, I plan to post them and share them everywhere as soon as I can.
I continue to appreciate your thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted about what’s ahead.