ROGUES & RASCALS IN GOOSE PIMPLE JUNCTION
By AMY METZ
This story, on the outside, looks like just a quirky Southern small town cozy mystery but it really has so many layers and intricate storylines going on.
~Bubble Bath Books
ROGUES & RASCALS IN GOOSE PIMPLE JUNCTION may just be the best book in the Goose Pimple Junction Mysteries so far.
~Lisa K’s Book Reviews
Rogues and Rascals is a great ‘back porch book’, something to kick back and enjoy on a warm summer’s day.
Filled with southern charm and witty humor the newest installment of the Goose Pimple Junction series Rogues and Rascals will take you back for a fun-filled visit with a side of murder.
~Shelley’s Book Case
This was such a fun read I really hated for it to end and just FYI it has one heck of an ending.
~Escape With Dollycas
Rogues & Rascals in Goose Pimple Junction
(Goose Pimple Junction Mysteries Book 4)
File Size: 3483 KB
Print Length: 251 pages
Publisher: Southern Ink Press, A Division of Blue Productions (May 15, 2016)
Like any good Southern belle, Caledonia Culpepper was raised by her mama to be gracious, charming, witty, and above all, a devoted mother and loving wife, so she’s baffled when her marriage falls apart.
Wynona Baxter is a master of disguise but is often a ditzy airhead. A hit woman wannabe, when she’s hired for her first job in Goose Pimple Junction and things don’t go as planned, she’s forced to resort to Plan B. She’ll also need Plan C and D.
Crooked lawyers, restless husbands, a teenaged hoodlum – it seems there are rogues and rascals everywhere you look in Goose Pimple Junction.
When Caledonia and Wynona’s paths cross, they prove there isn’t a rogue or a rascal who can keep a good woman down. Mama always said there would be days like this . . .
Interview from I Read What You Write
Michelle is having internet issues so she cannot post this interview but she didn’t want you to miss it and asked me to post it here.
To start with can you tell us a little about yourself and the project we are seeing today/ You are promoting today?
I’ve been writing for about seven years, and today I’m promoting Rogues & Rascals in Goose Pimple Junction, the fourth book in my cozy mystery series set in the small southern town of . . . Goose Pimple Junction. I’m an indie author who likes mysteries and humor.
What advice do you have for new authors, like me?
I think beta readers are essential. Listen to their feedback and then go back and rewrite if needed—and it’s almost always needed. I also think hiring professionals to do editing, cover design, and formatting is important.
1. What is the first book that you remember reading?
It would probably be Pippi Longstocking. I loved those books.
2. Who is your favorite character in the book you are sharing with us today?
I love Louetta. She doesn’t play as big a role in this book as she has in the others, but she is so much fun. She’s an octogenarian, full of life, love, and wisdom. There’s never a dull moment with Lou around.
3. If you could be friends with a character in one of your stories who would it be and what kinds of things would you do together?
I’d love to be friends with any of the women in my books. We’d meet at Slick & Junebug’s Diner and talk over good food.
4. What was the inspiration for your latest project?
My ex-husband’s divorce attorney. Seriously.
5. What would your dream library look like?
It would be three walls of bookshelves full of books and one wall of windows looking out at the ocean. It would have a comfy overstuffed chair and ottoman, a big, beautiful desk, and pictures of my kids dotting the bookshelves.
6. What is your all time favorite book or author?
I love Robert B. Parker. His three series—Spenser, Jesse Stone, and Sunny Randall—are my favorites.
7. What or who inspired you to begin writing?
Life. I began writing about life as a form of therapy and started writing Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction to escape from life and writing about it. I found a town and people I love, so I keep going back there.
8. Apart from writing and reading, what are your other hobbies or interests?
I love to bake—anything but baked goods made with yeast. Yeast and I don’t get along. I also love photography and making coffee table books with my photos.
9. If you could go on a road trip with any author, dead or alive, who would it be, and where would you go?
I’d love to go on a road trip with Mark Twain. We’d go on a USA tour of his favorite places.
10. If you had a secret room that opened by pulling a book on a shelf, what book would you choose?
Open and Shut by David Rosenfelt. I love the book, and I like the play on words with the title.
From Chapter 1
A Unicorn And A Hit Woman
Early June, Atlanta, Georgia
Sipping sweet tea and browsing Facebook on her iPhone, Wynona Baxter sat with her partner, Zeke, at a table outside a coffee shop. With her toned and tanned bare legs crossed, her left foot—clad in Jimmy Choo black four-inch-heeled sandals—bobbed up and down to a silent beat known only to her.
“Here he comes.” Zeke adjusted his sunglasses and inclined his head toward the street.
There he was—their mark—right on time, wearing his JC Penny ugly tan blazer and brown polyester pants set right underneath his paunch. He ran a hand through his thinning red hair, but demonstrating the man’s definite need for a haircut, a long patch in the front dropped right back down over his right eye.
Wynona muttered, “Get a haircut.” Then to her partner, she said, “His confidence has to be ill-gotten.
Zeke harrumphed. “Just like everything he has in life.”
Over the rim of her glass of sweet tea, she casually watched as he crossed the street, speaking to a few people along the way. His gut preceded the rest of him by a good ten inches. Why on earth a man with no outwardly redeeming qualities—and from what she’d heard inwardly too—could strut like a rooster was beyond her.
Wynona put her glass down and ran her finger along the condensation. “I’ll tell you one thing. It’s obvious from the way he carries himself that there isn’t any conceit in his family: he got it all.
Zeke sat back and propped a leg over a knee. “Yeah, but brains are another question.”
“You reckon he has any of those?” Wynona’s foot continued to bob up and down.
The duo had been watching him, and after a week, they knew his routine. Wynona looked at her iPhone. “He’s right on time and headed for the Dizzy Duck as usual.”
Zeke nodded. “If he hadn’t made someone very angry, this wouldn’t have to be his last visit there.”
“Okay. So he’ll spend thirty to forty minutes in the bar and then head for home.” Wynona put the phone in her purse.
Zeke stood. “Where we’ll be waiting for him.”
She took one more gulp of tea, shook the ice in the glass, and set it down hard on the table, shooting a look that would put frost on a snowman to the guy a few tables away who’d been leering at her for the better part of an hour. Leisurely standing, she smoothed the front of her short linen skirt. As she left the coffee shop, she was aware of the eyes on her . . . well, she could only guess which body part his eyes were on. Wynona preferred to be unobtrusive, but that was nearly impossible with her looks. But no matter, by tomorrow she’d appear totally different anyway. She thought she might enjoy being a redhead next.
The hot Atlanta sun beat down on them as Wynona and Zeke walked across the street in the opposite direction from the person they’d tailed for almost a week: Mr. Sleazy, as she’d come to think of him. They had been sitting at the outdoor table for over an hour waiting for their mark to leave his office building. Feeling like she was melting, bored half out of her skull, and glad to be on the move again, she got into their rented Lexus ES300 and turned the ignition key. She set the air conditioning to full blast and leaned her head against the headrest. The cool air blew across her face, which glowed with perspiration.
She glanced at the dashboard and groaned. “Is it really 104 degrees out there?”
Zeke adjusted the vents. “Considering the humidity is at least in the eighty percent range, it feels more like 150.”
Taking a lace hankie from her purse on the passenger seat, she blotted her face so as not to ruin her makeup. She fluffed the bangs of her brown wig and slipped on her oversized sunglasses before adjusting the air conditioning vents to point straight at her. After putting the car into drive, she eased out onto the road and secretly offered Mr. Googly Eyes an unladylike hand signal.
Wynona maneuvered the Lexus down the curvy shade-dappled country lane while singing along to Garth Brooks’s “Friends in Low Places” on the radio. She pulled off to the side of the road, stopping just in front of a black mailbox with white lettering that spelled “Reid.” The box stood to the right of a long driveway leading to a large colonial two-story house. This wasn’t Mr. Sleazy’s house but one just down the road from his ticky-tacky run-of-the-mill ranch house. After a few minutes, she was impatient. “Come on, you know this road has hardly any traffic. We’ve only seen a handful of cars in the six days we’ve been tailing Polyster Man.
Zeke cracked the car door, waited, and listened. The only sound was the rat-a-tat of a woodpecker. Convinced no cars were near, he hurried to the rear of the car as she popped the trunk. He pulled out a duffle bag and slid back into the car, laying the bag on the floor in front of the passenger seat.
“Now watch, Wynona. You might need to know how to do this some day. Pay attention.” Reaching under the clothing inside the bag, he pulled out the pieces of a Glock .40 caliber semi-automatic. Grabbing the slide, he took the barrel and slid it in, put in the guide rod and spring, keeping his thumb over it. With the weapon in his other hand, he said, “Make sure there are no obstructions, match the male/female grooves, slide it on, lock it to the rear, and put down the takedown lever at three o’clock.” He quickly snapped the pieces into place and screwed the silencer on.
Wynona recoiled a little when he opened his bag of tricks, as he liked to call his knife set. Her mind went over the different ways she’d seen him use each one in the past. A slow and torturous death was his specialty and why people asked for him.
Wynona glanced at the time on the dashboard. “I reckon we’ve spent five minutes cooling off after leaving the coffee shop and fifteen driving here. It should also take Sleazy fifteen minutes to get here—after his usual thirty minutes in the bar.” Wy reached in the bag, pulled out a CD, and popped it into the player. “If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now” came over the speakers, and she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she sang along.
Zeke watched and said, “I love a girl with a sense of humor in this line of work.”
Twenty-five minutes later, she turned off the engine. They got out of the car, and he raised the hood. Zeke crouched in front of the car, while she leaned against the Lexus to wait.
She heard it before she saw it. “Showtime,” Wynona said.
“Do your stuff, Wy.” Zeke shifted slightly in the gravel.
She leaned in under the hood from the side of the Lexus that faced the oncoming car so that her long thoroughbred legs would have a chance to work their full magic. She heard the pop of gravel and an engine slowing as he eased his car to the side of the road.
“What’s the problem?” Mr. Sleazy asked as he approached her.
Holding the gun in his right hand, Zeke rose to his full height, walked past her, and pointed the weapon at Sleazy.
“Honey, you’re the problem.“ Wynona cocked her head. “But we’ve got the solution.” She noticed his Adam’s apple bob up and down; hers did too.
Walking toward him with the gun aimed at his chest, Zeke said, “You’ve made someone awfully mad with your low quantity of moral fiber. You pretended to be someone you’re not. You took advantage of people. You stole money from them. They said to make it a . . .” he stretched out his words, “. . . slow, painful end to your time here on earth.”
Zeke’s smile reflected his intentions.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amy Metz is the author of the Goose Pimple Junction mystery series. She is a former first grade teacher and the mother of two sons. When not actively engaged in writing, enjoying her family, or surfing Facebook or Pinterest, Amy can usually be found with a mixing spoon, camera, or book in one hand and a glass of sweet tea in the other. Amy lives in Louisville, Kentucky.
Amazon Author page: http://www.amazon.com/Amy-Metz/e/B008NA07X4/
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